


I Almost Lost You

by just_chiara



Series: 13 Reasons Why Tumblr Ficlets [9]
Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Amnesia, Canon Disabled Character, Disability, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, M/M, Physical Therapy, Post-Season/Series 01, Pre-Season/Series 02, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-27 14:49:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16221335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/just_chiara/pseuds/just_chiara
Summary: Set a few weeks after the end of S1. Zach helps Alex with physical therapy and they share a moment.Tumblr prompt: “I almost lost you.”





	I Almost Lost You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Thomasnewtminho29](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thomasnewtminho29/gifts).



> Can be read as a sequel to [I Can't Do This Without You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16214519) or as a stand-alone.

Alex grips the cane tight with his good hand. The brace around his left ankle helps with the weakness in his left foot, but his balance is still off, and he can’t walk more than a few steps at a time before he gets tired. Even that, not without assistance. Zach is standing by him, right hand on Alex’s hip, left hand on his waist, supporting him and ready to catch him if he falls.

Correction: _when_ he falls. It’s happened five times already, and that’s just today.

“Almost there, you can do it,” Zach encourages.

Alex takes another step forward. Or, as he likes to think of it, a big _fuck you_ to the doctors who said he’d never walk again.

His right arm hurts. He can’t wait to be back in the chair to roll his shoulder and ease some of the soreness. He lets Zach take more of his weight as he takes another step, grunting with the effort.

“You’re doing great,” Zach says. He should join the fucking cheerleading squad.

“Yeah, it’s like, eight whole steps. Impressive, uh? And I’m pretty sure you get credit for the last five,” Alex snarls.

Zach keeps his positive attitude. “It is impressive, actually. A week ago, you couldn’t even stand up.”

“Well, I still can’t, or I wouldn’t need you here,” Alex shoots back. It comes out harsher than he intended.

He feels Zach’s fingers twitch, but Zach clearly has a lot more self-control than he does, because he doesn’t let go of Alex.

“Two more steps and then you’re done for today,” Zach says. He’s hurt and it shows in his voice.

Alex slowly takes another step, dragging his left foot, and then one more.

Zach usually tells him he did good and he’ll be walking by himself in no time, but not today. He just helps him back into the wheelchair without a word.

“I’m sorry,” Alex says.

Zach takes a deep breath. He looks tired.

“Yeah, I know,” he sighs. “It’s fine.”

He looks around. He looks ready to fall apart and Alex really hopes he doesn’t. He can barely handle his own feelings right now, and that’s on a good day. If he tried to comfort someone else, it would most likely be a trainwreck.

Zach takes a seat and runs his fingers through his dark hair. “Actually, it’s not. It’s not fine. It’s a fucking mess out there, Alex.”

“Can’t be worse than getting verbally abused by me as you try to help me,” Alex says, trying to make a joke. Zach’s reaction tells him that, actually, it _is_ worse. Much worse. “Shit, Zach. What the fuck is going on out there?”

“It’s…” For a moment, Zach seems ready to tell Alex everything, but then he reconsiders. “It’s nothing, just school, you know?”

“Bullshit.”

Nobody fucking tells him anything. They all walk on eggshells around him. What the fuck happened after Hannah died? And what the hell is going on now?

Alex looks at Zach. “Just tell me how bad it is? And don’t lie, because I already know it must be really bad if you come in here to escape it.”

“It’s bad,” Zach admits. “But that’s not why.”

“Why do you come here, then?” Alex has asked him this question before, but it was always in anger. This time, his voice is soft. He truly wants to know.

Zach looks at the floor, probably debating with himself whether or not he should tell Alex the truth. He shakes his head slowly, and Alex thinks he’s not going to reply, but then he pulls Alex’s wheelchair closer – so close that their knees touch – and locks eyes with him. “I almost lost you, that’s why. Because I didn’t realize how much I cared about you until it was almost too late. I’m trying… I’m trying to be your friend, Alex. I wasn’t before and I can’t change that, but I can do better now.”

Alex moves his good hand to rest on Zach’s knee. “I was a shitty friend, too. I still am. But you’re great. You’re the only one who’s been coming every day. I mean, where the fuck is Justin? Where are all the guys? I know we aren’t close but I thought they would at least show up once, you know? Jess calls a lot and she says she’ll come visit soon but I don’t even know when we started talking again. Was it at Hannah’s funeral?”

“There wasn’t… There was no funeral,” Zach whispers. “A lot happened after Hannah… And I promise I’ll tell you about it, but not yet, okay?”

His hand brushes against Alex’s.

“Will you also explain how comes I’m friends with Tyler Down and Clay Jensen now?” Alex asks.

“Tyler is not your friend, Alex.”

Alex lowers his eyes. “I just wish I’d remember.”

“It’s funny because I kinda wish I could forget it all.”

“Trust me, you don’t. It fucking sucks,” Alex says and his voice breaks.

_Fuck_. And now he’s crying in front of Zach. Fucking perfect. He moves his hand to wipe the tears away from his eyes, but Zach grabs his wrist to stop him. Before Alex has time to react, Zach is leaning forward and is kissing him.

Alex kisses him back, almost with desperation. He doesn’t know if it’s about Zach, or about a deep need for comfort, for physical contact, for connection. Zach doesn’t seem to care.

“Have we done this before? Was this, us, happening before?” Alex asks when they pull apart.

“No,” Zach says with a small smile on his lips. “Totally new.”

“I figured. It was kinda unforgettable,” Alex says.

Zach lowers his head, blushing. “Yeah, it was.”

Alex pauses to look at him before he asks, “Wanna help me make more memories?”

Zach kisses him again.


End file.
